Abandonment
by kzlovers
Summary: Alister dreams of his past as he is haunted by memories of Kaden. Hint of Kaden/Alister but not main focus.


A fanfic for darrah-toons on deviantart. I hope you enjoy!

Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time fanfic

Genre: friendship, humor, hurt/comfort, tragedy, hints of romance

Warnings: Sadness, mentioned death, hints at possible male slash

Pairing: hints at Alister/Kaden

Summary: Alister dreams of his past as he is haunted by memories of Kaden.

Hope you all enjoy!

Abandonment

"Tag! You're it!" A high pitched voiced yelled while running away from said person who was tagged. A smile graced on a white furred face before it quickly turned to a smirk and he ran after his yellow furred friend who had previously touched him. The two ran on mostly barren rock and dirt except for the small amount of grass that grew. The desert planet was not one known for growing much wildlife, but work well for the Lombaxes that inhabited the planet.

The two small Lombaxes continued to run on the lands they knew so well. This was their home planet, never being anywhere else or knowing others from outside worlds. Regardless, both had the dream of one day having the ability to go out and see the worlds beyond the stars instead of just the rocky grounds they saw every day. Until that day came, they would enjoy being children and love the lands they knew so well.

When coming to a small hill, the small white Lombax saw his chance and took it as he jumped and tackled his friend to the ground. While laying on top of him, he declared proudly, "You're it Kaden!"

"Daww!" Kaden whined while still being pinned to the dirt floor. "You always do that Alister!"

"Well maybe you need to run somewhere else," he suggested before helping his friend up.

They both looked to the sun to see it was setting, which meant it was time for them to be getting home. Dread filled both, for they had been having so much fun in their games and play, but all good things must come to an end.

"I guess we gotta get home, huh?" Kaden asked, though his expression told he didn't want to.

Alister nodded slowly but his bright red eyes were lit up despite that he was sad at their departure. "Yeah, but we can always play again tomorrow. How about it?"

Kaden's green eyes also brightened as he nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely! We should. Maybe we could play Hide 'N Seek tomorrow?"

Another nod was given in response. "Yeah! That sounds like fun!"

A big grin was given but the yellow Lombax that showed his sparkling white teeth. "I'm glad you're my friend Alister."

A blush could not help but form slightly on white cheeks before Alister gave a smile of his own. "Me too. No matter what, we'll get to see each other every day. We'll always be friends."

Both grabbed the other's hand while still smiling. "It's a promise."

The scene seemed to fade as the sunset blurred into the distance to give night before the ground, sky, and two Lombaxes seemed to disappear in the newfound darkness. Light slowly seemed to come back only to show the sun halfway through the sky, to show an afternoon on the same land but years later.

A ship was parked outside as a bucket of water resided by the ship as a white Lombax wearing black rubber gloves continuously scrubbed the ship with a soaped up sponge in hand. He deeply focused on his work in hopes of removing all scratches and making the outside of the machine look as nice as possible.

He had been so deep in his work that he failed to hear the footsteps that approached him from behind or the wind that was cut through before water and rubber bits were felt on the back of Alister's head. He turned his head to see that what had been thrown was a yellow water balloon and that the culprit had been Kaden who held an orange water balloon in his hand as if ready to throw if need be. The look in those red eyes practically screamed death as he was boiling inside.

"Ah, don't look at me like that Alister," the yellow Lombax winked as his already present grin grew, "We were supposed to meet up an hour ago for hover boarding and you never showed up. I figured you got distracted again."

"Huh?" the white Lombax questioned before glancing at his watch to tell that he was indeed an hour late for their get-together they were supposed to have. Guilt filled him instantly. "I am so sorry Kaden. I was trying to clean the ship for my father and…"

Before more could be said, another water balloon hit him, but this, in the face. Another glare formed on Alister's face while Kaden started to laugh.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I think I got you back for ditching me."

Guilt filled Alister's face again but Kaden came over and stood in front of his friend. "Really, don't worry about it. I know your father's been a bit harsh lately since we're getting older and will start having to make life choices soon. We're teenagers now but won't be long." A sad smile formed as Kaden continued, "I'm not looking forward to when things change. I like life now, here, with my friends, family, and you Alister."

The words hit straight through the heart. They were indeed close, more so than most friends. The words had sounded almost intimate, but Alister thought nothing of it considering they had been friends since childhood and were always close with one another. Others even thought it strange sometimes but neither minded.

"You wanna take a break?" Kaden asked. It was then that Alister noticed how close they had become. Sure, they often broke into the other's personal 'bubble' when playing games or roughhousing but this seemed… different.

"Sure, that sounds like a good idea." Alister smiled.

Kaden backed up after that before motioning towards the hover board track not far from them. The white Lombax nodded in approval before both then began to race there as they had when they were younger.

This scene also began to fade, but it faded white from the blinding afternoon sun. The next jump went to a late evening as two Lombaxes who could not be guessed as older than two decades sat in a furnished wooden bedroom with various family and friend pictures on the wall and a made bed along with a few pillows and blankets on the floor for the friend who was staying over that night.

"Wow Kaden. I do not think I have ever seen your room look so clean before." He then grinned as he received the punch in the arm that he had been expecting from that insult.

Kaden had on a light glare before smiling and replying, "Shut up. Not all of us are clean freaks Alister."

"True," the white Lombax could not help but agree because he knew it was true. He used to find it very insulting, but after a while, he could no longer deny it and decided to take it as a compliment. New views comes with age was his guess.

Can't believe we're back from the army though," Kaden replied as he flopped on his bed. "I missed my bed so much."

"I bet."

The other grinned before it disappeared as he looked out into the night at the lands he once knew but it had been so long since he had last seen the dirt grounds Kaden and himself used to play on as children. Now, both had ventured through army training together and just returned home. Alister would have originally gone home, but his father was not expected to return to the planet until tomorrow due to work related projects. Because of this, Kaden and his family were more than willing to welcome him into their home for the night. He had felt very grateful from the offer, for he did not want to be alone right after returning from his army training, especially since he would be leaving again real soon.

"Do you have to go Alister?"

"Hm?"

He hummed in question as he turned back to his friend who was now sitting upright on his bed while staring intently at the white furred Lombax before him. Though it was not uncommon to face one another, it seemed as though Kaden thinking intensely on something, and the stare started to make him feel slightly nervous for some odd reason.

Pushing the nervousness that Alister thought was pointless and unneeded aside, he moved away from the window and sat on the bed next to his best friend. Kaden still looked at Alister, but the intensity that had been held in the stare seemed to dissipate as soon as Alister had moved from his spot.

"What do you mean Kaden?" Though he knew quite well what his friend meant.

"It's just…" Kaden looked at the wooden floors for a moment, as if considering if he really should say what was on his mind. Emerald eye met ruby ones in a stare once more. "You're going to be a general in the army. That's cool and all. It's just that, I'm not going to get to see you, like, at all."

Alister's expression softened. He had received the offer to train and become a general of a Lombax army. It was a great honor to receive this privilege. He might even rank to be one of the best if he worked hard enough. However, since he would be going away, Kaden would remain in their home town. Kaden had planned to go to a University. Before the offer of general was made, Kaden and Alister had talked of going to the same school and even being roommates. That was not possible now. Alister did plan on going to school after general training because it was strongly suggested to have a degree of some kind before becoming a true general, but he would not hold his friend back from continuing on in his life, just as he had chosen to do.

"I know. I am sad I will not get to see you either. We will have to call each other often. I will tell you how training goes and you can tell me how school is."

This seemed to help a bit, for a small smile formed on the yellow face. Kaden looked at his friend again with that smile. "Yeah, we will."

Before Alister knew it, Kaden scooted closer and wrapped his arms tightly around Alister's shoulders. The gesture slightly surprised the white Lombax, but he just smiled as he moved his arms to return the hug. It was warm, and what was the word… safe? That sounded about right. They sat there and stayed like that for a few minutes. Alister found it odd that Kaden had stayed in the embrace for as long as he had, for he was never huge on hugs. However, he was not going to say anything and just let his friend stay for as long as he wanted. Alister knew this was hard on Kaden the he was leaving, and wished there was something he could do, but knew there was nothing he could do.

As they sat, Alister felt his friend shift and thought he was about to leave the hug. Thinking this, he had loosened his arms so Kaden could adjust only to find that this made Kaden's arms tighten around his shoulders. It didn't hurt, but seemed odd. Something felt off but he wasn't sure what.

"Kaden?..." Alister practically whispered. He noticed how strange his voice sounded but tried not to think anything of it.

Kaden's chin had previously been sitting on Alister's shoulder before he shifted so then his forehead was. Heated breath could be felt being ghosted on Alister's shoulder and he could not help but shiver. Something was off. Kaden was acting strange. What's going on?

Moving again, Kaden moved his head so now his cheek rested on said shoulder. His eyes and mouth faced the general's neck. The white Lombax did not really noticed since he was facing the wall with his own chin resting on Kaden. Alister felt uncertain of what to do since he had no idea what was going through his friend's mind.

Scooting closer, Alister had not even realized there had been any room left between them until Kaden moved closer. Along with this, Kaden's head also moved and he shifted closer to the white furred neck that he had already been so close to. Warm air moved over Alister's neck, it felt strange, yet nice at the time. He couldn't help but shiver once more from the close contact and warmth. As the warmth was felt, he also then thought he felt something else; light, warm, slightly wet, lips? It was not a kiss, but they were so close that Kaden's lips barely touched Alister's neck. This felt all too strange. Perhaps they were too close…

*Knock, knock, knock* "Kaden! Alister! Dinner is ready!"

A second or two later, Kaden moved himself from Alister before looking to the door and replying, "Alright mom! We'll be down in a sec!"

Footsteps were heard moving away from the door. Both Lombaxes were still, trying to register what had just occurred between them. The warmth, the touches, the closeness, all of it. It was not something normal for them. Alister was unsure of how to feel other than just plain confusion. What had been going through Kaden's head during, whatever that was? The silence did not last long as Kaden stood from the bed.

Kaden turned towards Alister and grinned. "Come on! My mom makes the best food, which I haven't had for ages. Let's go eat!"

Alister had so many things to say, so many questions, but the moment seemed gone as Kaden then walked out of the room. Was it that bad that Alister was leaving?

The scene transitioned once more. However, only bits and pieces of memory seemed to fly this time instead of a whole memory scene. There was a bit when Alister was welcomed back to the army to begin training, where Kaden and Alister had their first call since he arrived at training and another when Kaden arrived at school. A memory came of when Kaden talked about this girl he met and then how they started dating a month later, and how odd Alister noticed Kaden's behavior to be when he spoke of it. Years later when Alister graduated, and then when Kaden did the same. Alister went to school, then Kaden got engaged. The marriage went on with pretty shades of white and orange. Interesting colors for an interesting couple. Alister graduated and went back to the army. Kaden and his wife had a child.

A full memory came into view after all the smaller memory pieces flashed by. This time, it was war. The planet was being attacked and all the Lombaxes were evacuating. Alister had been banned because the whole mess had been his fault.

After making sure his son was safe, Kaden had planned to join the war effort. Though consumed by grief, Alister still tried to make sure to fight the enemy. If that was the only way to help his people now, then so be it. Kaden and Alister both fought, but did not know the other was fighting. It was in a field where everyone was dead but the two did they noticed each other.

Both were covered in blood but it was not their own. When looking at one another, both held different expression. Alister held pain and grief while Kaden held hate and rage. The yellow Lombax approached the other quickly. They had already not been far from one another. However, Alister was quickly tackled to the ground.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Kaden all but screamed before striking his once best friend in the face. "I told you. I TOLD you! Why the hell didn't you listen to me!"

Alister could have easily thrown his friend off of him, but if anything, knew he deserved this punishment. Bitter tears began to form in their eyes but were gone completely unnoticed as Kaden punched Alister again.

"It's your fault! Our friends and families are gone! Our homes are gone. Our planet is GONE!" Kaden's tears began to fall freely as he bent over the friend he still kept pinned to the ground by his weight.

"I… I am so sorry Kaden…" Though he knew this would mean nothing, Alister knew he had to say it at least once, and hoped one day, that his friend might forgive him if they survive through this.

"First you leave me for stupid training, then you decide to stay with the stupid army, and now this." This was strange. Alister knew Kaden had never been happy about him going to the army to be a general, but that was years ago. Did he still hold a grudge for that?

"You're still made about me being a general?"

A laugh seemed to escape Kaden; a sick, sarcastic laugh that sounded as if it needed release a long time ago. Looking at his friend, Kaden looked so broken. Could he really blame him though? Kaden lost everything today. The only thing he didn't lose was his best friend, but Alister doubted he would ever want Alister back after this.

"Of course I am. You never understood," He replied in a dark tone that made the general freeze up. This was so unlike Kaden. Anything was possible after this war he supposed.

"You never got it, no matter how many hints, no matter what I did. You were even happy that I was getting married."

This was a shock. "Kaden, what are you…?"

Bombs exploded not far from them. Ships would be there soon. They had to hide. Kaden stood up. Alister followed pursuit. Emerald eyes then met red. They looked so broken.

"Get out of here Alister. I'll hold them off."

"What?! No way! Kaden, we can both get out of here. We can figure something out, I'm sure. Just…"

A laugh escaped Kaden again, only this time, it just sounded cracked. "No Alister, I'm going to stay here. I'm going to fight to the end, just as I promised when I had joined the army.

"I lost everything today Alister; my family, my friends, my home. Everything."

"You know you will always have me, right?" Alister replied, though he was not sure if even that mattered to Kaden anymore.

Tears rolled down yellow cheeks as those green eyes stared at his old friend. A gloved hand came to rest on a white cheek. "No Alister, I lost you a long time ago." Before Alister could ask, another bomb went off and everything went white.

Darkness filled his vision as heavy breaths left him and sweat formed along his brow. It took a few minutes to realize that he was no longer on his home planet or underneath some ruble pile as he had previously thought. No, he was somewhere else entirely, and in a completely different time. What he had seen, heard, felt, had happened years ago only to be replayed in his mind through the form of dreams.

What he had seen were both sad and happy memories. The link they had was that they all involved Kaden and himself. A similarity between some though was when Kaden seemed to act strange. He never fully understood why Kaden stayed angry at him for all those years about going to the army. He assumed his friend to be upset for a while, that he was not surprised on, but that Kaden remained so even on the last day together, he didn't understand. But then, maybe he felt abandoned. Alister felt as though he was leaving his best friend behind, which had never been his intention, but somehow, that's what happened. He didn't know.

What he didn't get was when they were close. In Kaden's room, he was so close to Alister. First off, how and why did that happen? There's a difference between fears of being left, and then that amount of closeness that they shared. It seemed unnatural from what they normally did, like almost, intimate. And why had Alister allowed it? That seemed to boggle the general's mind more than the previous question. He did not have any answers, but perhaps had an idea, but it was not concrete.

The hug they shared and even other times when they had always been close, it did almost go beyond the realm of friendship and unto something more. A fleeting thought that the general had had after the incident in Kaden's room was his curiosity of the possibility of Kaden perhaps liking him more as just a friend or best friend, brother even as they had called one another at times. It had quickly dissipated as he did not want to think into that realm of thought, but he knew it as a possibility considering all they times they invaded one another's personal space outside of playful actions and rough housing, and that Alister was sure Kaden had been close to kissing his neck that night.

To be honest, these are all thoughts that had floated in his mind now in again, but this was the first real time he spent actually going more into depth with it, and that scarred him deeply, especially because he never fully tried to figure out how he himself felt, and that now would be too late to do anything. This was why he normally avoided the subject now that everything was over.

Pain ran through his chest. A hand came to rest on his beating heart in hopes of slowing it down, though knew that would never work. Alister closed his eyes as he began to hopefully let sleep take over once more. This was a subject he no longer wished to think of. A burden he wished he no longer had to bear, but knew he could not simply let it go. If he did, then he felt he would be abandoning his best friend and forgetting everything that happened between them. Alister had abandoned Kaden once, and Kaden remembered all the times while he was away. Now, it was Alister's turn to remember all the memories they shared together, for now Kaden had abandoned him all those years ago when he stayed in the war.

*Yay! I'm done! This is a request for darrah-toons on deviantart that I am super late on, but I hope you enjoy it dear!


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